There are many possible causes for Podcastus Interruptus. For instance, the proverbial Person from Porlock could knock at the door and destroy the idea for the episode—or just the mood of the podcaster. Recording software could crash in the middle of an interview, or the podcaster could forget to press the ‘record’ button.

In other instances of Podcastus Interruptus, the podcaster succeeds in making a recording, or even several recordings, but something delays the editing and/or posting of the episode. The culprit could be anything from illness to a sudden onset of billable work—or the need to complete one’s doctoral degree.

New podcasters may find themselves intimidated by the need to learn to use editing software, create a podcast feed, or register with iTunes. Those whose entire future as podcasters is put at risk by such difficulties should consult the Asylum immediately in order to avoid podcast stillbirth.

Other forms of Recursionitis involve producing podcasts about podcasting, and using podcasts to evangelize podcasting.

Even thinking for too long about Recursionitis can cause dizziness.

This dangerous condition results from listening to podcasts whose creator has applied the ‘Truncate Silence’ effect too liberally or used other tools to speed up the tempo and remove pauses from the recording. When listeners can’t hear you pause for breath, they stop breathing, too. Symptoms include faintness, gasping, and turning blue in the face while fumbling for the ‘pause’ button. To prevent fatalities among your listeners, please use silence-removing and tempo-increasing tools with care!

A milder version of this condition, called podcast hyperventilation, can result from listening to  podcasters who speak very rapidly, like C.C. Chapman. It’s possible to counteract podcast hyperventilation by slowing down playback. 

Left untreated, sufferers of Meetup Envy may be driven to such desperate acts as hocking the family silver to purchase an airline ticket or even–in extreme cases–devoting hours to creating virtual meetups. While they may start out as humorous mashups, these substitutes for real contact can escalate into violent fantasies.

For a suitable fee, the Podcast Asylum will be happy to unite sufferers of Meetup Envy with their favourite podcasters amid the vineyards of the glorious Adelaide Hills–under careful supervision from our staff, of course.

The effect on the listener of these internal inconsistencies ranges from distraction (trying to figure out why things don’t match up) to distrust (wondering whether the guests are actually answering the same questions the host is asking).

Preliminary findings suggest that this syndrome is most common in corporate podcasts, possibly because of the number of different departments that have to sign off on each episode.

• Not posting any show notes, thus making the podcast invisible to search engines.
• Not providing any information about how to subscribe within the podcast itself.
• Using a proprietary file format which requires a particular media player.
• Not offering listeners a way to comment on or contribute to the show.
• Not providing a direct link to the RSS feed for those who don’t use iTunes.
• Not providing a “click-to-play option for people who prefer to listen at their computers.

If your podcast is keeping people out instead of inviting them in, contact the Asylum before it’s too late.

Adjunct professor Heidi Miller (left) discovered Social Media Stupor Syndrome in June of 2007. She describes the warning signs as follows:

• Shaking, fear and trembling before clicking to Google Reader, My Yahoo! or NewsGator
• A full iPod, but constant occasions to “forget” headphones to “catch up” on podcast listening
• Adding people you don’t know to your Twitter, LinkedIn, Facebook or MySpace accounts
• More than four email addresses, just to keep up with the comments from your blogs and podcasts

Although Social Media Stupor Syndrome can be treated successfully, we advise precautionary measures to prevent contracting it. Restrict your podcast listening to the shows you really love. Make sure to spend time each day away from your computer and other gadgets. Examine every social network you belong to and ask yourself whether the benefit you get repays the time you have to spend.

Of course, if you are already deep in the throes of this disease, we at the Asylum will be glad to help you. A week spent in the glorious Adelaide hills enjoying the ministrations of dusky handmaidens and muscular masseurs, far from anything with a screen, will leave you refreshed and restore your perspective.

Specifically, the Sarge has noticed an unexpected shortage of audio comments just as he was planning to prepare a Mail Call episode. Never in 29 regular episodes and 10 special editions have the Survivalists failed to produce a superabundance of comments. In fact, the number and frequency of the comments were what inspired Tee to start producing Mail Call episodes.

Clearly, it was time for the Asylum to step in and investigate the cause of this problem.

The most obvious cause of Comment Deficiency Syndrome is not providing listeners enough ways to contribute comments. Nevertheless, CDS can strike even podcasters who announce their call-in number, blog address, and e-mail during every show.

The best way to prevent Comment Deficiency Syndrome is to play, read, and respond to listener comments right away. Because podcast listeners are just as narcissistic as podcasters, they will tolerate a longer show length if it gives them the opportunity to hear themselves.

Of course, in order to play comments right away, the podcaster has to produce regular and frequent shows.

If you find yourself suffering from Comment Deficiency Syndrome, try listening to For Immediate Release for lessons in producing a proper comment-driven show. Alternatively, you could emulate the model of Inside PR, where audio comments go directly into the podcast feed so everyone can hear them immediately, or create shows from collected audio comments, as Carmen Van Kerckhove has done with Addicted to Race.

Extreme, advanced cases of this disease manifest in starting more and more podcasts, so that a single individual may be producing as many as five or six different shows. The compulsion to podcast can override even basic survival instinct such as the need to sleep or to eat, though it rarely seems to interfere with the consumption of alcoholic beverages.

The second form of Podcrastination is the production of podcasts to the exclusion of all other activity. These podcrastinators can be identified by such claims as ‘I can’t come to the office today because I have to record my podcast,’ and should only be allowed access to microphones and recording devices when they have no work or family commitments. As the consequences of this form of Podcrastination can be especially severe, it is important to catch it early. If necessary, Sven and the Dusky Handmaidens can provide a reminder of the pleasures of life beyond podcasting.